Rediscovering Yourself

Becoming the person that you want to be, the person that you see yourself as, is no easy task. Self-discovery is one of that hardest Zen’s to achieve, because few people honestly know how to look at themselves from the outside, to evaluate what they need to change on the inside. Anyone can say, “I want to change this” or “I need to start doing that..” But it’s those rare type of people that put their words into action. What they believe, becomes what they say, which manifests into what they do. Self discovery, as this talks about is the process of being true to yourself. It is not simply, noticing a change, and doing it. But rather, working toward making each day better than yesterday. It is putting your words into action on a daily basis, keeping yourself in check. This is rediscovering yourself..

There is almost always a catalyst that leads to a person desiring to understand themselves more. Unfortunately, most of these events, are negative. We pick back up an addiction, we break a promise, we cheat, we’re abused, we lie, a loved-one passes away, or a relationship ends. Regardless of the situation you were in, learning to live your life, the way YOU want to live it, is as easy as you make it. Taking back control of yourself starts with one simple step: changing the way you look at life.
Anyone that’s ever been depressed, knows how everything closes in on you. How small you think your world is, how you think nothing is ever going to be good again, or how you think your life is over. But anyone who’s ever overcome, such a situation, knows, that, “the trouble don’t last always.” You’re only unhappy as long as you keep allowing yourself to stay in that mindset. When all the thoughts you’re allowing to penetrate your mind are negative and self-mutilating, that’s all your situation is ever going to amount to – unless you take action and change it.

Tricking your mind into believing that you won’t always be unhappy is the key to breaking free from that grey rain cloud over your head. The more you tell yourself that you’re going to be okay, the more the odds are in your favor that you will be okay. I speak personally in all my blogs. With that said, I thought it was over (like always.) I wanted to do nothing, but lay in my bed. I’d go to class, get back in bed. Go to a meeting for my job, get back in bed. If it wasn’t mandatory that I do it, I didn’t do it. My bed was my comfort zone, no one could hurt me, I could fall asleep and wake up in peace. But the truth was, I fell asleep in a puddle of my own tears, and woke up the same way.

What changed for me, was GOD, that divine being that came and literally took all my sorrows away. Yes, I still have bad days, I’ll think about it, and get into one of those moods where your thoughts take over. But those are slowly fading away.

I do more for myself. I go shopping by myself, I take myself to the movies, go get coffee by myself. Just to reiterate the fact that, I’m okay. That I don’t need someone to be complete. Yes, the company was amazing and all the other details were a blessing. But I am also a blessing by myself. I’ve strengthened friendships, but most importantly I’ve made it a point to be a blessing to others more than they are a blessing to me.

When you rediscover yourself, everyday is a new opportunity. Every opportunity sets a fire ablaze inside of you. You will have bad days, but everyone has bad days. But the more you reinforce your positivity, the few and far between the bad days appear.

I look at my mistakes, my failures, my past “regrets”, as stepping stones. Because they all brought me to where I am now. Every boy I’ve loved, only made me able to love the man I’ll one day be blessed enough call my husband. Every friend I’ve had, kept, and lost, only made me able to be a better friend to those in my life now. Every mistake, only made it easier to be cautious of the next. Every failure only made me more passionate to succeed. Every past “regret” only made me more blessed, aware, cautious, passionate, and thankful because I learned.

I wish the woman that I am now, could, in some way, go back to that night, when the old me was curled up on the floor, drenched in tears, so I could pick her up and tell her it’s going to be okay, that you don’t have to cry. But, like a wise friend once told me, “..it’s a process that you have to go through..that you’re still going through.”

Remember, it’s a process. It’s a day-by-day thing. You can’t plan ahead, call in advance, or RSVP. It’s a flow as you go, stay on your toes, shoot first ask questions later, type of process.

Above all be blessed,
ajaybeeee

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