I fell in love a little more than a year ago. I saw him..and thought he was the cutest boy I’ve ever seen…and I still maintain that he is.
I swore off love/relationships. I found myself young and in love. After a series of events, our relationship ended & I decided to travel 500 miles away to remove myself from the situation – Greatest personal decision I’ve ever made. The 2nd time I found myself in love with a man, was probably the most eye-opening. I made the decision that if any man did not have the same beliefs as me, there could be no relationships. I lost myself in both of those relationships. I became all about the person & not enough about me. So when they left, I was empty. Not this time. I have learned that I have to take care of me, JUST as much as I try to take care of my significant other.
It was my 21st birthday in bible study when I noticed him..I saw him smiling and laughing. When I found out what his name was, I swore off dating him. Why would I date a man who’s name was ONE LETTER different from mine? People would think I’d make this up. The next time I saw him, I found out he liked the Boston Celtics..and I’ve been a die-hard fan since ’08. So I played my cards right & managed to strike up a convo. I did it – I was in! Let’s fast-forward through all the mumbo jumbo. Talking to him was the best part of my day. Hearing his voice, or seeing that he had texted me just gave me butterflies all over. Our connection was undeniable. I would think of him & he would text or call. I’d say something & it’d be his exact thought.
I found myself falling in love all over again..a mere 4 months after a bad breakup & a wave of depression that I felt was going to take over my life. I was happy.
I don’t think I’ve ever loved as man as much as I do with him. I know I’m not the easier girl..sometimes I can be a real handful..but he does an amazing job at putting up with me. He’s unlike any man I know..and I’m proud to be in a relationship with him.
I’m not thinking wedding bells & baby carriages.
Yes, I watch wedding shows & yes I can’t wait to have children. But at this point in my life, I love traveling and doing things that I wouldn’t be able to do with children. I’m not ready for marriage. I’m ready to be with one man, yes. But GOD hasn’t finished preparing me to be someone’s wife. I’m not ready to take that title. I’m content being someone’s girlfriend.
This whole relationship stuff is HARD work. It’s like a full-time job that you don’t get paid for. But the bonuses are MORE than worth it. The hardest part is being 500 miles away..and just wanting to be right next to them. It’s hard not seeing him everyday.
We slowed danced to Luther Vandross – “Always & Forever” ..that’s our song. We said that if we could get past this summer, we could get past anything – and we meant it. I still mean it. This has been the most emotionally difficult summer in my entire life. Ups and downs..only followed by more downs than ups. We let it get the best of us.
When I stop to think & reflect..besides GOD…he is my greatest love. He’s a part of my life that I never knew existed. He’s the calmER side of me. He’s my logic.
I wrote this as self-reflection, not to boast or anything. I wrote this so if he may happen to read it, he’d understand the depth of my love for him..although I haven’t hesitated telling him.
While we still have a long way to go before I could even consider saying, “I Do.” I can say with full faith and confidence, that there is no greater man I’d rather spend every good and and bad day, every argument and tear-inducing laugh with than him.
I’m in love..and proud.
Above all be blessed
ajaybeeee
ajaybeeee 